On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.

Maternity Clothes Shop: We are open on labor day.

Optometrist's Office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

Taxidermist Window: We really know our stuff.

Butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.

Used Car Lot: Second Hand cars in first crash condition

Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

Muffler Shop: No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming.

Hotel: "Help!" We need inn - experienced people.

Butcher's Window: Pleased to meat you.

Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents?

Sign in an office: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

Veterinarians Waiting Room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

The Electric Company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.

Beauty Shop: Dye now!

Garbage Truck: Satisfaction guaranteed or double your trash back

Computer Store: Out for a quick byte

Diner Window: Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up.

Cafeteria: Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want.

Music Library: Bach in a minuet.

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Contributed by: Glenn Osgoodby at: yjrm21d@prodigy.com