"Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"This employee is not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."

"He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

"This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

"She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

"This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

"Not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking."

"Got a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

"A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

"Fell out of his family tree."

"Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

"Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

"If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate."

"If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

"It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

"Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

"When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."

-- If it will not matter in ten years, don't worry about it now. (Woody Hood, ca1977)