First a Lawyer Joke

 A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?"

 "Sure do," replied the bartender.

 "Good," said the customer, "Give me a beer, and I'll have a lawyer for my gator."

 -----

A couple of drinkin' buddies, who are airplane mechanics, were in the hanger at LAX; it was fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them said to the other, "Man, have you got anything to drink?"

 "Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel - that'll kinda give you a buzz."

 So they do, get smashed and have a great time; like only drinkin' buddies can do.

 The following morning, one of them woke up and he know his head would explode if he got up. But it doesn't. He got up and felt good, in fact he felt great - NO hangover!

The phone rang, it was his buddy. He asked, "Hey, how do you feel?"

He said, 'I feel great!!'

"I feel great too!! You don't have a hangover?"

"No - that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover - we ought to do this more often!"

"Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing..."

"What's that?"

"Did you 'pass gas' yet?"

"What??"

"Did you 'break wind'??"

"No..."

"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!!"